WTF?! Lindsay Lohan Rumoured to Play Carrie in New Remake

 

By all the nerdy/geeky gods of horror, say it isn’t so!

I’m not actually sure what I’m more perturbed about: a Carrie remake, or Lindsay Lohan in the titular role.

Originally adapted for the big screen back in 1976 by Brian de Palma, Stephen King’s coming-of-age story about an abused teenage girl who develops telekinetic powers and takes out (some would say a deserved) bloody revenge on those that mocked her is heading for the Hollywood remake treatment. 

And Lindsay Lohan – a horror story all unto herself, it has to be said – is rumoured to be in the running for the lead role. How she will pass for a sixteen-year-old just hitting puberty remains to be seen ‘cos frankly, old Linds is looking all kinds of haggard. And that was before the prison sentence.

But to make things even worse, Stephen King himself actually had this to say:

I’ve heard rumblings about a Carrie remake… Lindsay Lohan as Carrie White, hmmm. It would certainly be fun to cast.

Surely that was meant as tongue-in-cheek. No one actually took him seriously did they? Did they?!

I could go on and start ranting about how Hollywood has run out of ideas, but really, what would be the point? Sissy Spacek will always be Carrie for me, and Piper Laurie will always be her mum.

This new version promises to be more faithful to King’s novel, with a script written by Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa (who adapted King’s The Stand into a graphic novel) and Kimberly Pierce (who directed 1999′s Boys Don’t Cry) may direct.

Oh Lindsay, they’re all gonna laugh at you…