Music Review: Mikey Mason ‘Impotent Nerd Rage’
Impotent Nerd Rage – the words stir up so many scenarios; many of which can be applied to either you or someone you know. Whether it’s a lengthy debate with friends over Trek vs Wars, TNG vs TOS or Silent Hill vs Resident Evil, or an online dispute with some grammatically incorrect moron who just needs to shut up and accept that you’re right. It is the rage we feel when people just won’t see things from our point of view and there’s nothing we can do about it (remember: murder is illegal in most places)
This is the title of Mikey Mason’s comedy-rock-nerd album: a CD packed with so many references and in-jokes that there’s guaranteed to be something for you. Before we move on to the music, it’s time for a little history lesson.
*cue wavy background and harp music*
Mikey Mason is a comedian-slash-musician who first caught my attention, and I’m sure many others, when he released Browncoat allegiance anthem ‘She Don’t Like Firefly’ on YouTube. It was an instant success, with crew members of Serenity herself tweeting about its awesomeness. Over on Mikey’s YouTube page I found a cache of amusing songs such as ‘The Babysitting Song,’ and ‘I Hate Your Kids.’ I began following the man on Twitter, which is where I first saw the Kickstarter project for Impotent Nerd Rage. I pledged and bippity-boppity-boo, here we are.
Track 1: Kobolds Ate My Baby
Those of you who know what a Kobold is will probably love the title. I didn’t know, but Google educated me and the visual representation helps a lot.
Mikey says of this song:
“I found that I couldn’t sing the main melody of the song without making grand, melodramatic gestures. Both my wife and Frank Reber (the recording engineer) told me they could hear it in the vocals, somehow (neither of them were actually able to watch me recording the song, due to the layout of the studio.) I hope you can too.”
The song is pseudo-metal; think Metallica if their songs were much more awesome and James Hetfield didn’t always have a sore throat.
Earworm Alert: You will have ‘All Hail King Torg’ in your head for about a week. It will pop up at inappropriate times and keep you from sleeping on quiet nights. Be warned.
Track 2: Too Fat To Troop
A musical homage to Jek Porkins and his doomed run on the Death Star. This song is definitely in my top 5 from the album.
Mikey:
“The highlight of the song, for me, is the bridge at the second chorus, when the lines of the song mirror lines of dialog from the movie, but line up so cleanly that if you didn’t know they were parroting the movie, you’d never guess.”
Track 3: Me and Alan Moore’s Beard
What can I say about this track? It’s strange, but in a very good way. The title explains it all really: it’s about going on an adventure with the face warmer of a renowned comic book writer. The song runs at six and a half minutes, but you’ll hardly notice.
Mikey:
“Sadly, this song has my only Neil Gaiman reference of the album. Maybe someday I’ll write that American Gods-themed album that struck me as a good idea while I was writing this.”
The imagery of this song is brilliant. If the thought of an angry beardless man tracking down his facial hair and forcing it back onto his face doesn’t make you giggle, I’m afraid you have no soul.
Track 4: My Next Girlfriend
A great disgruntled boyfriend song, set to the tune of Bowling for Soup and the like. You gave up everything for her; your gaming, your comics, and then she left. So what do you do? Write a song about it of course! Tell her how many awesome, geeky girls there are who will appreciate you, but of course you must do it in a subtly bitchy way: “It can’t be that hard to find someone better than you.” Yep… subtle.
Mikey:
“It’s my way of paying homage to the genre, by parodying the entire genre, as opposed to a specific song. Spinal Tap taught me that…”
Earworm Alert: The line that sticks with you is definitely “She’ll want a three-way with Felicia Day” and really, who doesn’t?
Side Note: I’d also happily take Summer Glau or Jewel Staite.
Track 5: Impotent Nerd Rage
The title track of the album. It’s a fun game of ‘pin the trait on the nerd’ – I guarantee every action in this song applies to you or someone you know, and if it doesn’t you need new friends.
Mikey:
“The line that defines this song it ‘I validate my life by criticizing yours.’ I picture a cross between Sheldon from Big Bang Theory and Brain from Pinky and the Brain.”
For a song that was re-written and finished at the last minute before recording, it’s pretty damn good.
Track 6: She Don’t Like Firefly
The song that started it all. The ultimate expression of Browncoat loyalty. It’s catchy and the video is hilarious. I should point out that, if you find a woman who loves Warhammer and Cosplay and has a good taste in booze, movies and gaming: Marry Her! Who cares if she doesn’t like one of the best short-lived TV shows ever made? Treat it like other men treat sports… or porn. However, if she doesn’t cry whenWashdies you may have a problem…
Mikey:
“The two most common questions I’m asked about the video are, in order: 1) Who is the girl? And 2) Where is that bar with all the good beer? For posterity, the answers are: Kerry Anne Pritchard and The Fickle Peach in beautiful Muncie,IN.”
For obvious reasons, this is my favourite track on the album.
Track 7: Unicron
A power ballad about a destroyer of worlds that almost sounds like unicorn. Need I say more? The song was written for a backer of the album – if you pledged a certain amount, you got a song.
Mikey:
“Whenever I hear the opening guitar solo, I think in my head, ‘Okay… It’s time for couples skate. Find a partner, now. Couples skate, only please…’”
Note: If you don’t know who Unicron is, we can’t be friends.
Track 8: Strangling My Muse
My second favourite song on the album, and the one I can most relate to. Written about song writing, but it applies just as easily to other mediums. I recommend this song to every writer who has ever had that silent argument with the blank page. It’s also really peppy. Put down the pen; dance around the room to this song – it’s quite likely to shake something loose.
Mikey:
“I wound up standing in my living room and saying aloud, ‘Not now! I have an album to finish. Just let me finish this album, and I promise that if you still want to do the Springsteen-inspired Firefly album, we can do it. But we have to do this first.”
Strangling My Muse has some great singular lines (“Watched Next Generation, asked ‘What would Wil Wheaton do?’”) but my favourite has to be: “My brain won’t walk or crawl and Captain Mal won’t carry me.”
Track 9: Unwed Teenage Gothling Mom To Be
In short, this song is hilarious. It’s fast paced; feeling shorter than its two and a half minutes.
Mikey:
“Being composed in 2009, this is officially the oldest song on the album, and the only one that was completely written before She Don’t Like Firefly.”
Favourite Line: “She expresses her individuality but dressing like every other goth kid she sees.”
Track 10: Yo Brain Turns Me On
A 70s soul/Boyz II Men feeling, sexytime song about how hot intelligence is. The wordplay is genius; very ‘Carry On.’ It even has a dig at Twilight. I can’t explain any better: listen to the song.
Mikey:
“…this also has a subtle tribute to KISS hidden in it (if you know KISS music intimately and listen in the right spot. It’s not hidden, but it’s not obvious to a casual KISS fan, either)”
Warning: I wouldn’t play this song in public, you may get some very weird looks.
And that, ladies and gentlefolk, is Mikey Mason’s Impotent Nerd Rage. If you’d like to know how to get a copy, go to www.comedyrockstar.blogspot.com; listen/watch at www.youtube.com/squedge or stalk the man himself on Twitter @comedyrockstar
All quotes were taken from Impotent Nerd Rage: Stories Behind The Songs, found on the digital copy of the album.
